*The future awaits us~*

Thursday, March 29, 2007

since young, no one has ever stood up for me. up to now, not even my parents stood up for me. jr is lucky to have his friend to protect him. haix...
pathetic, how pathetic... i wish they would think about others, other then themselves. well, i still am waiting for a day where i can lend the fist into their faces without getting scolded. OR, tell the teacher they are bullies. its not something serious, but it can really hurt people, though they think it helps them feel better.
today, i sense their disappointment when i came back during chinese. i know, u must be so sad that you have to sit with april again. yea i know -_-" yadayada, cause i wont be sad so you all said that. lalala~
i really wish i can stop staring and instead start insulting and scolding. yea, with the new crap action, you wont hear the f word again.

<|6:03 PM|>

Monday, March 26, 2007

art was sian, the wire went into my finger but there was no blood. o_O i was surprised.
oh man, curse the pe teacher... from pe it became some punishment... i should have opted not to do due to my ancient injury, just like qian hui... oh well, it started with minor stretching, pretty fine. then it was suppose to be 3 sets of 10 jumping jacks, but some people could not count, so it was more than 40 jumps. every jump i felt my knee rub a bit... it started to hurt slightly. 300 finger exercises?!?! SIAO LE! but my hands were just getting a bit numb. 30 pumpings! WOOT~ -_-" every down part my knee rubs and slides a little on the slippery concourse floor. i rested my knee on some grain of sand and it was mildly bleeding after the pump. then i could barely straighten my knee. damn...
chinese -_-" yun fan damn crap lor, purposely sabo me. but i manage to take revenge. when is bai ban ting xie, he kept flipping my book and i nvr got to study properly. so i died there... but i am glad i was not punished for it. serve him right can?
dnt is getting more crappier, i suppose i could bare with it for some more weeks. i seriously wonder if i can skip dnt next week, i got to change during recess, which i hate... then halfway leave class? errrr... i gladly will.
i worry for mrs lim, hope she wont get a miscarriage. lets pray... hope to see her in school again soon, 2 week...
2ly 06 and 2ly 07 has the same reputation... really weird, i didnt know billard was so popular back then... addict to computer games= chance to go mad, i shall think of it again...
1 day of lessons missed, i hope it goes well, and i got to take my geog test another day or so... haix!

<|7:45 PM|>

Monday, March 19, 2007

i give up, there is no way i can keep my cool any longer. maybe i should be more erm... how should i put this? "outstanding"? i somehow think there is no point. and so it goes round and round, once again.
silently watching how my classmates actually pretend they can control anything. how they go all crazy and get the whole sec 2 to be held back. yes, their are very thick-skinned, nothing sinks in. but if they really get on my nerves again, i will make sure it goes right deep in. i should not at all be kind. then everyone will start hating me, not like i care.
i feel so weird all of a sudden. i got 65/100 for chinese and 28/40 for science, yet i have no feelings of sadness. i guess i am all numb, feelingless? even when i tried to smile, i know i am not really happy. i tried to cry, but my eyes are so dry.
i guess i want all these to be gone, and let me be back to normal. how come i feel happier being around boys then girls? i believe it is cause currently, the girls make me angry, the boys cheer me up. ~_~ as in girl-friends are hard to make than boy-friends.
i wish, i can get a corner seat at any corner of the class. i dont care if i am alone, or surrounded by those horrible boys in my class. i just want some peace away from the girls. can i get it?
one camp that turned everything. i am not a puppet where u can control.

<|6:49 PM|>

Friday, March 16, 2007

the project has finally started, hmmm... it took so long. there is like so many things we still need to do. yesterday, only yilin and i turned up for the meeting. -_-"
i joined her after my science lesson which ended around 10am. it felt so long since i last seen some classmates. >_<" doraemon is over, back to joanie eh...
the teachers have not approved on our project. sigh.. during our meeting, we burned holes into the plastic container. man i was so slow at it. and erm, yilin made the tissue paper catch fire!! but at least the fire stopped one the tissue burnt finish. scary~ mr remus didnt seem to have any reaction. our filters are halfway done, now is to get the rest of the items.
-activated carbon (i shall buy 3 packets of the $2)
-water pump (found the exact same one cchms uses, $39.90... i saw one almost the same power at $12 each, so how?)
-dividers for the tank (praying the dunno wad plastic-cardboard thing can be used. $3.09 each, rather big)
-silicon sealant (hope yilin can get more)
-NO3/ KH4 testkit (which one to get? nitrate or ammonia??? both $12-$20)
overall, i want to successfully complete this project.
haix, i still feel angry, and i want to show them i ain't nice...

<|9:25 PM|>

Monday, March 12, 2007

after a long and tiring weekend, i am finally home!
somehow i am still very pissed and angry with my classmates... somehow my newly made friends seem way better.
first thing was icebreaking, we didnt even get to know the names. played lame and dumb dumb games. running on the grass was bad, dog and bone was worse, it caused me to hurt my right leg, back at the same old place ~_~ but i just applied the oil i brought and carried on with other things. slight limping now and then. but i was still fine lor, or so i thought...
when we reached the campsite, G3 people were all very late. then we broke into groups and did some activities with our instructor. group 11 had Dan. played this weird game, where we have to call the person of the opposite gender and say "*name* do you love me?" and the person must say yes or no, if yes, the 2 people on the side of the people need to swap places and the person asking must squeeze in. if no, that person being asked must call the name of another person of the opposite gender. and so on... i only did it once.
our next activity was the rope challenge, had belay school before the activity. "am i on belay" "belay on" "squeeze check" "check" "climbing" "climb on" "falling" "fall on" the last part was dumb... falling still need permission.
first one my team did was the walking the log, i could survive 3/4 the log with one hand out, then i was told to let go of both hands, then i walk only, i fell. man, other girls no need, can keep 2 hands. why only they get discount, grrr... i failed... but i knew the reason, right hand out only i can balance, left and out only i cannot balance due to the weak knee, so 2 hands i fall. second one was the wire one, then need grab the ropes, managed to reach the 3rd rope then while reaching the 4th one, i lost my balance and started to fall backwards, but i landed in a sitting position, forced myself to get up but i just could not as my knee could not straighten, in the end i gave up T_T dui lian. never succeed. not like anyone cared... we then had the general stations thing, my group did spider web. and i got carried twice to get through the higher holes. i thought i heard jun rui say i was small can fit through, but i JUST realise he said i like stick. man, that it worse than anything... the original 8mins bathe became 3mins after some time. haix. dinner was not so good at all. was a rather tiring day and i just could no sleep. yule went to move away and april was being noisy. refuse to let me sleep, then woke up rather early the next day.
there was people bathing and shouting in the toilet, so noisy...
finding private jones activity brought me back to the places that i have visited quite a number of times, things have changed a lot. my group won a prize and we got m&m.
kayaking was fun but very tiring and a little scary. i damn paiseh about the part we needed to swim as i really dont know how to swim!!! i push my leg up, my head goes into the water... drank some sea water, so salty. i found one part freaky, i almost had to partner jun rui in the kayak, but instead the instructer suddenly move us till i from second become second from the back. then i partnered richie. >_< i needed loads of energy to help carry the kayak... richie walk the "plank" then i got some other girl with me. when the front people had to stand up, the chain of kayaks broke and i was made to hold on tight to the instructor's kayak and pull everyone back. zzzzz... around 10 kayaks i use my hand pull, not easy. then people like very not happy lor. cause the thing slipped off many times. at the end of it, the instructor capsized many kayaks, but i know why she did not capsize mine... mr khoo still talking about bowling make me strong, blah blah... since the kayaking session, my eyes are all bloodshot and dry... i aint crying ok... toilet door slammed behind me and the back of my feet had a deep scratch and you can see a bit of the flesh and the skin came out. one long scratch, rather painful. but after a while i forgot that the plaster existed.
food entreprenuer was funny, we made chicken salad, watermelon juice and cocktail. jiaxin, lowell, ignatious(how to spell???) and i was the cooking group. we were the only group that did not have any cabohydrates in our meal. opps >_< cabbage reminds me of the time jiaxin went to get a drink and junrui decided to add the cabbage to her plate, i added a bit too =X then i kept laughing everytime junrui mentioned vegetables. rock climbing, abseilling and zipline, really fun but tiring la. i realised that i have little fear left. abseilling was good, i had a bit of problems to balance my body into a L-shape at first, but after i could, i could just continue walking down without problems. rather simple. some instructor made us drink a lot of water and when he saw my eyes, he thought i was crying...
zipline was next, so fun, i went weeeee~ when i came down, but not very loud. a bit painful when i sat on the dumbell. hmmm....
while waiting for my turn for rock climbing, i saw junrui coming down the zipline, he was like struggling lo. =X kicking his legs around. i failed this section, everytime i held on to any rock with my right hand, it will slip off after a while, i wish i did not have such friction-less fingers, haix, duilian lor, stuck so long, my shoe also quite big la, i step some of the rocks, the shoe is on it, not my leg, maybe if i went bare-footed, it will be easier. si junrui laughed at me being stucked, so i laughed at his kicking in the air. >_< qian hui dunno what happen and no one intended to tell me no matter how much i asked. assholes...
campfire was fun but tiring for my throat. i was like losing my voice at the end. my group's performance was satisfactory. the banana cheer, here-we-go-again, banana dance, banana song, dunno what weird song/cheer. the finale was a sabo performance where it ended with the instructors being splashed with soap water.
last day we did area cleaning, my group did the cleaning in boys dorm and the bottom area. there were underwears, nike shorts and dunno what left behind. all were from bunk B3 and they were thrown away. while cleaning i saw ryan's group cleaning the toilets. the imagination of what happened inside makes me laugh. toilets flooded by the 3rd day. girls toilet was flooded with pads. ~_~ EWWWW... in the middle of the area cleaning, it started to rain and everyone ran to take in their bags, so the canteen and dorm cleaning became useless, they were all muddy and sandy after that... and then we went home.
got home and talked a bit, then was so tired i went to sleep, instead i woke up with a headache and fever!!! zZzZzZzZz... guess my body loves to play tricks with me. =)

<|2:04 PM|>

Thursday, March 08, 2007

omg~ the term has ended!!! SO FAST!~ T_T lagging behind liao...
common test is half screwed, but i dont really care so much. lalala...
camp is tomorrow and i am going to pack pack pack now, got everything ready and i am so excited lor. it would be fun to be in the outdoors as i said. let me hope all things go well... PRAY~
oh gosh, project work is making my pressure go up and up... guess i better relax once again since there is a holiday next week.
a half started relationship, should we even continue?

<|4:51 PM|>

Thursday, March 01, 2007

i feel so fucked up, why must everyone compare here and there? WHY!!!
i am so irritated, stop comparing marks at this instance can? say you will fail all you like, at the end of it, you often score higher than me. thats course i am stupid, right? stop saying i am a genius when you actually score better than me. assholes, i study for the sake of myself, so dont bother me. dont tell me i am smart when you do not even treat me like i am smart!
i dont care, but complaining when you already did well is the worst reaction. i detest doing that myself. its very hurting to others.
its just the same to complaining you feel short, when you are already the taller few, why compare with boys? they are definitely taller than you. indirectly, you are saying i am short...
also, even if you dislike a person's behaviour, it does not give you the reason to bully that person. i pity joel too, small and easy to bully, cant we think for the person before we do anything?
maybe too much thoughts go no where...

<|5:35 PM|>