disaster... the composition was a disaster... or maybe only for the chinese one. i barely understood the questions for the chinese composition. in the end i wrote the ming ti one where i believed i can score some marks in.
the chinese compo topic was something like: your dad/mum always takes good care of you. your dad/mum smiles n get happy when your grades improve even by a little bit. having the composition title as "mum/dad smiled", write your compo. i was taking the dad for the first situation, mum for second and finally dad smiled. a bit lame la my compo... then again i hope i did not write off topic.
the english compo i wrote a story about impatience can lead to trouble. swimming and then nearly dying from drowning as the character was too impatient to get into the swimming pool. so never do stretching so get leg cramp.
i dont expect myself to do well for my compositions. i just hope i wont screw the rest of the papers. to everyone who reads this, Good Luck For Your Examinations!
<|8:33 PM|>
today was filled with quite a lot of things... the only thing i remember clearly was the last thing we did in school. get back science test paper. most people tensed up when mrs tan entered the class. i was thinking if i do badly its my fault, because i refused to study hard for it and just merely borrow people's worksheets, asked around for help and read my own notes. half the things i was told was immediately forgotten. what to do? i studied cells, system, diffusion, osmosis and active transport ONLY. okay i totally forgot about the classification of matter until xiu hui was talking about it. i immediately borrow yu le's notes to look. not much sank in. then the test started.
as i said 2 days ago. i was daydreaming during the test. slow and steady? maybe lo. i got 46.5/50 for the test. shocked i am. i improved so much without much revising. that proves my focus and concentration in class best asorbs the information the teacher says. if i was to study at home, i am sure i would do very badly. hahaha... even my i thought was rubbish answer was also correct. lost half marks to the drawing of cells as i was lazy to erase and draw again and i kept drawing over the lines, causing fuzzy and broken lines. stupid me... for the first question i got wrong, i blame myself for not reading the question properly. it said cannot be observed, i wrote what can be observed. no wonder there are other obtions which are also true. another question was due to calculation error. 4 x 2 x 2 = 8?!?! damn me. no wonder it seemed weird. something new i learnt: nitrate is a type of mineral salt. =D basically i am glad with my acheivement.
now as i sit at home, i feel queasy and feverish... that is bad... i dont want to be absent on any day of the exam... haix. i hope this feeling is only temperory...
<|8:46 PM|>
came to school blur blur thinking i missed something. went down and saw tian qing on the way.
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i dont want to talk about drama.
i got 18/25 for geography. full marks for map reading. =D a few lame things in the last few questions. the no evil gang got 17,18,19... nice?
lunch. i was darn hungry. bought a plate of noodles and sat with le min and le qin, inclusive of april. i dont care la, as long as i dont eat alone can le. hem hem. and like i sat on the side facing the table clustered with 1ly people. they were one table away... right... you guessed it. ryan was there... and he was seated facing my direction!!! ok so i tried not to look at him. and i eating always will look at something... and so i looked at the ground well eating. felt uneasy seating there. i looked at his shoe! my trademark staring style. actually i realised ryan changed his shoe a few days ago. and i was sure this time its different. haha... his fila shoe became a 3 velcro straps shoe... he also just picks his bag up and go without caring about the mess on the bag strap. joseline also does that... okay pardon my lameness.
ate finish and walked out with both of them and cherie. they were being lame and i walked faster to ignore them. raisins... i hate them. the taste of them make me puke. lalala... they were stepping on the grass and i wanted to cross the road. next thing was i saw ryan sitting on the steps of his house and his grandparents were at the door of the house talking. ryan look like he was abandoned on the streets. =\ he just sat there staring aimlessly...
i soon got home... and yes after the exams we will learn hip hop and other things. =D i cant wait...
<|6:39 PM|>
whats gotten into me today? har? daydreaming all the time... aiya i walked around pratically aimlessly. this morning i went down for flag raising. i walked behind a group of loud and noisy boys which i think was the CCH from 2ly and his gang. loud... little did i know that behind me was tian qing... only till i got to my class place and was waiting for the others then i saw him walk past the front of me.
jing yi made it to the yellow line, i wonder what did she do. i had science and was drawing what was on the screen onto my notebook. i hardworking... whatever... went for pe and we cannot use the hall so we went volleyball court. on the way there met chantelle and phinsiew. they looked very happy. i played the usual basketball with joseline and yu le. i felt like i was a ball hogger... my one sided strength as usual. i can hit the board when i try 3-pointer with only my right hand. this is something not everyone can imitate. =D
recess time went to canteen and drank a bottle of H2O. drink drink drink and was daydreaming. i suddenly saw tian qing... of no reason i got choked on the drink. =\ went to talk to jilyn and alicia about the science test i was going to take this afternoon. then that CCH walked past me and he was shouting... so loud la, then is like shouting into my ear... oh well. i dont care.
about the payment for the chinese reading materials thing, its not fair! i wont pay $69.50! why would i pay an extra $12.50 when i dont order the friday weekly through the school?
went for IT enrichment. i not sure which other group finished their flash. i went around helping people with what i know to help their problem. the 4 boys were got scolded for playing during lesson. left for maths and i saw chantelle on the way. i looked at her, she seemed to look at me. or maybe i was just thinking too much.
mr khoo was kind. he finished maths and then let us revise our work. so i was a bit frantic to memorise the notes.
had the science test and not long when it started, cheong jin ryan AKA MD ryan entered the class. he sat behind me as ting xin was absent. i was daydreaming and writing so slowly. argh... this time this science test surely do badly. when mrs tan told us 15mins more i panicked and i drew the cell wrongly! i never read properly!!! ARGH!!! in the end i finished it and did not check before handing in the paper. yule waited for me to walk out together. =D happily walked down the stairs talking about joseline doing her animania. then when we were at the turning to the slope, i saw ryan's low slinging bag and recognised him. he was with his friends and i just walk through the group of them with yu le pretending they were not there. bought something to eat while walking out. when i turned, i saw ryan looking in my direction but i will not imagine too much as it must be just my imagination.
anyway, my new way of keeping fit. DANCE! under the influence of auditionsea i will dance every day. i so love dancing and it does not make me very tired compared to exercising at a gym. =D
<|3:44 PM|>
i felt a sense of unfairness. one word, bias
i dont know why some teacher and people are just so bias... ok it brings me back to the "tian qing is bias" issue... i now have a new identity thanks to sylvia lim aka "Mrs Lim". the new name is "Mrs Pan"... and i also got other additional names... like "Mrs Lee" and "Mrs Ng Lee Pan". blah blah blah... i dont like those names but i still respond to them so i dont know la. choose what you want to call me. i am not at all concern what my name becomes... already got people call me Joanie, Jo-ann, Joanie chan... heck la. who ask my name to be so simple and fun to play with. -_-
another bias matter that makes me a bit angry. actually its not serious at all. my dear history teacher comments certain people for getting full marks in the chapter 7 history test. like i also got full marks yet she made it seem like i did badly. i dont like her... today she looked like a female ghost as her hair was all over the place.
another thing is cme... blame me la. i accidentally threw away the cme script when i was clearing my file this morning. not like i intentionally did it. i have a limit of controlling my temper. well, everyone does. i dont get why you must spend so much effort complaining over small matter when you can ignore it and carry on with life? maybe its just that we are all different. i hope your attitute towards your work will change. we do everything for a reason. what do you choose? learning things from books only?learning life skills and things that will help you when you grow older? or both? take all these as an experience. you are responsible for your own life. i dont wish you suffer next time... and always, do things to the best of your ability. dont let your emotions cloud your senses.
i may be too helpful. i am always there to lend a listening ear. half the time people will tell me things that i never knew or maybe only know a bit. its a bit sad to know that people i thought were brave and strong, actually have a weak side of them. 1hm, as a class will unite and be harmonious. at least by the end of next year i can see such things.
i will study to do well. i hope i can do well or else i can forget about all the enjoyable things i can do after the exams.
wahahahaha... to all my friends that maple, i will be back on the 12/10/06. opps... that happens to be my sister's birthday and she would have finished her exams by then. so double celebration!!! WOOHOO! i cant wait. the time seems to fly fast. by then, i would be getting busy for drama night! =D
<|8:46 PM|>
ahhhhh.... i finally finished the flash project. it was supposed to be 3/4 completed by monday but its completed and only left to hear what miss koh has to say about the work and what we could improve on. basically i did the most. nono, i did everything, just that the others gave ideas and commented on it.
i am so proud of it!
okok... thats why it started with "A Proud Production"! i am crapping so dont worry.
i went to fetch cherie and yule from bedok interchange to go to my house. i am not quite familiar with bedok interchange yet. rarely go there... so funny la... we then went to siglap centre's mcdonalds for lunch. ahhh... fastfood!
eeeeeeeeeeeeee oily and salty fries! and that was what i showed them. how crazy a health concious teacher reacts when he/she eats fast food. use tissue to squeeze the oil and salt off the fries. the fries tasted so yucky after the demostration. then we headed to my house.
continued with the rubbish flash. copy, paste, copy, paste... thats what we kept doing. we are so lazy! but i did the editing after they left. i was even more lazy, i did not go for the drama meeting as i believe i was not needed there. weeeee....
my sense of satisfaction is making me go mad...
<|6:34 PM|>
wahahaha... today missed the science test as the whole 1hm went to the expo to view the 'ideas in action' thing.
i came to school and went to look for vincent but he was not in class yet so i went down to look for jilyn. then i saw tian qing! i should have stopped him and ask him to show me his wart. ok, i think its crazy to do so. and i did not.
before my science lesson, i went to 3ep to give vincent the registration form for bowling interclass again. like ZzZzZzZzZzZz... he was late for lesson. bad boy...
i got 18/30 for the recent comprehension about a surfer! haha... expected higher.
i wished ms han gave back the geography paper today, i wait so long still havent get back yet...
later the sec 3 bowlers came to look for bee leng to collect the bowling interclass form. aiya, wasted my energy to look for him.
the whole day, sylvia keep calling mrs pan, if not i get called mrs lee... like wth lar, i and mr lee and mr pan are only friends right? no r/s attatched.
during the expo trip, the first thing i did was to find my sister! wahahaha... i dumped my bag with her and gladly walked around without a heavy bag. =D almost the whole class gathered at the empty space behind the booths. mr khoo, mr peck, mr ang and another teacher was around. we tried to hide from them. ate some muah chee, ran around and then went home le...
haix... quite waste of time la, nothing seems to interest me... at least i got more time to work harder so i can do better in the science test next tuesday. exams very near le. what to do, i scared i cant do well...
<|5:10 PM|>
final chinese marks= 70.5
ok whatever i get no one seems pleased. =(
i have no idea what is wrong with everyone today. whatever i do seems to make people angry...
first thing is i dislike ruisi's irresponsible attitude, if she insist she did nothing wrong, she needs to give proof! how can she make claims without checking? next year, she will expect zero guide cookies order le. beg lor! she FORCES! not people want to buy willingly. and u know what? she embezzled her class funds.
i like to do what i want. whats wrong with that? is it wrong to spend my recess in class doing my work? its better than rushing at home. i got so much to do, i would surely forget about my homework. anyway, its also to divert my horrible habit of going to other classes. i hate to be forced to do something i dont like. tomorrow i got a history and calligraphy test. like i dont wish to study but i must! fine, i never really studied. but at least i completed my science homework already. notes taking i would leave it for the weekend when i rush everything on the computer. costume list, IT project, my abstract art project, and the piling homework. i need to think of something fresh, something innovative, something interesting. stress...somehow i wish i was not so responsible. it cant be helped, responsibility was forced into my daily life when i was in primary school.
why am i so disliked? why am i treated as i am not there? WHY? sometimes, i can get annoying but i dont get why my ideas are always rejected. i always tried to do things to the best of my abilities. i did the flash, spent hours on the character and what? revert back to the old plan? NO WAY! if i get very angry, i will become nasty and it is not nice. accept it. why dont you try doing all these? everything my start from scratch.
<|8:21 PM|>
i finally decided to get back to my projects and studies! this seems a bit late though...
my maths test lost 2 marks due to my many corrections to that question. from correct become wrong, then wrong become correct, then wrong again... like wtf did i do!!!
during pe, we did the forward roll, backward roll and handstand. i somehow could only do forward roll and roll off the mat. backward roll i could not do. kalvin do the rolling until hit his face and his nose started to bleed. the boys all ran aside not even helping him. actually i dunno if i should pity him or it was what he deserved. oh well... casualty rate a bit high today. joseline did the forward roll until hurt her head. i also got hurt... i had some time on the trampoline, i jumped and jumped and did the knee drop. do wrongly la, i got to my knees but i sat on my leg tilting it at a weird angle. ouch... then i cannot continue le... pain... oh well, the pain was not really that bad.
during the IT enrichment lesson, we were disfiguring a person's face. i did some bruises and cuts on his face, made some part swell up, made a background and made his hair white... then came miss koh and she said i had too much foundation. like errr... i used to play with adobe last time. xD
i was not really complaining that i was hungry, even if i was, i would not be hungry very soon. i did not eat breakfast, recess, lunch. only drank sweet drinks and water. lol... i am still NOT hungry. its so interesting la. oh well, something is wrong with me.
i am currently doing the macromedia flash project. i hope it will turn up well...
<|5:46 PM|>
other than suffering the whole day, having to tuck in my maroon cca shirt into my skort, carrying 2 cartons of 6 boxes of 470g cookies from class to grand audi 3rd floor to bus stop and to home, i was much luckier. oh and i got back my chinese test paper. 69.5 marks... whatever la, i also dont care. zheng lao shi said that they would round up the marks so i will get a A2! LOL! how lucky!!! how nice. i was quite reluctent to wear the skort down for assembly. how i didnt like the feeling... i struggled to carry the almost 6kg boxes home. got quite some help here and there. my fingers were swelling and my arms are aching... haix, so many homework left to complete. i have been a bit bored and tried a game less lame than neopets: subeta. i bought stocks yesterday and they have doubled today! unfortunetely, one of the stocks is falling for the past few hours so i decided to pull it out as i made enough from it. can spend it on more profitable stocks. xD and i decided to gamble... play slots! first try and i got jackpot le! then i got 20 over items soon after. lol... that is soooooooo lucky. ok i am so lame... dont get why i am still playing when the exams are near...
<|6:05 PM|>
haix... i am darn irritated and pissed by my partners. what joy is it to paste things on other people? hide their things? poke them? make fun of them? laugh at their mistakes? talk bad behind their back? i mean, i cant stand it anymore! I WANT TO CHANGE MY SEATING POSITION!!! i cant focus during lesson at all, pass things her and there, people talking through me, noise pollution! i realised it was the reason why i was not able to remember what was taught during lesson. its horrible... 1 whole year with the same person, what patience do i have left? at least respect my rights right? anyway, i prefer to sit in the corner where it is much more peaceful. the boys in the class are worst, congregate at the back of the class behind my row. talk so loud and horrible things that i detest hearing will come out of their mouth. sick people... kicking and hitting each other, asking sick questions which i dont wish to mention.
wow it seems like this problem will continue till the exams. when someone angers me, i would become like this.
the whole angering thing started during the science lesson. i went to inform mrs tan that i would be leaving the class early. liming took my pencil case and hid it in the drawer at her bench where xue wen sat. i came back my pencil case was missing so first i suspected liming. then i went to tell joseline about my pencil case was taken away. xue wen and liming reacted to what i said. then i glared at them with all my anger and hatred. i just felt very angry. i have a limit to keeping my temper low.
whatever it is i dont wish it would happen again.
triple 11/20 for my history tests. so sad la, some people get much better than me. i got this feeling my next history test will also score 11. so what if i liked repetive numbers? no need give me these right?
i went to the art room to find jilyn and sherri. but it seems like i was a bit slow, they were out of the class already. ate and i drank green tea! =x felt like someone was trying to avoid me. ran in the rain and got myself quite wet. had the geography test in a noisy and freezing environment. my notes were so close to me during the test, my bag was just on top of it. we talked during the test. we borrowed stationaries and some were so blur that they did not realise the mcq is to write on the printed answer paper not the foolscap. the girl guides were quite noisy. shouting, whistling, calling... they did not know sec ones had a test... mr davamoni also told them to keep the volume down but they did not. and so i was not able to concentrate, i was messing my work... forgot which explaination goes where.
about the inter-class bowling, sherri refused to let melvin join the competition as she say he will affect her scores by disturbing her. i doubt she wants anyone in the class to join as all the names jilyn mentioned she said dont want. like that makes me want to pull jilyn to join my class's group that consist of bee leng, liming and me. oh well...
i hope.......
<|9:26 PM|>
its like OMG! i forgot what i did in school!!! only remembered finding dava in the morning... oh well, the interesting things happened in the afternoon. went over to joseline's house to do acc project, but we did not do anything in the end, we mapled. hehehe... i was blasting the songs from the fei xing bu luo album as i found the room very quiet. helped joseline with her quests and then decided to roam around on my own. as she was playing aquila and i dont usually play, i gave her all my money and items... i sound crazy right? but i dont care. tian qing was online and so i started talking to him as we rarely talk. we talked and talked and he even came to help me help joseline. very helpful guy indeed. =D haha, one thing about the conversation i had with tian qing was that when i told him that i would normally sit infront of my class during assembly, and i asked what his role was, he said he would not tell me and he was going "NOOOOO!" when he knew i sat infront. hmmm... he was shy... i couldnt tell he was a shy person, i always thought he was very outgoing... weird... okay i not exactly suspecting anything. i played maple until the time i asked tian qing what the time was and got shocked. i said i would be home by 5pm yet by that time it was 5.05pm! like argh!!! i am so late. but this time i did not get scolded.
about my geography test tomorrow, i will take it in the concourse at 1.15pm sharp. i will leave the class at 12.55pm and go to the art room to call jilyn and sherri to come out? errr... i wonder if i dare do it.
my class chalet thing, i decided i WILL NOT go. no one can change my mind since i decided it. hahaha... i dont see the point of me going in the day and not staying overnight but paying the same amount as those that stay overnight. i really start to detest those people that sit infront of me. for some reason i am part of the class committee yet they treat me like i am not. ok when i asked them what the welfare rep was supposed to do, the first respond was to find shade for classmates when there is no shade... OK THAT WAS VERY LAME! the second told me to help organise class activities. when i asked them why i was not told to help with the class chalet, they told me cause i did not do anything. errrrr.... so they tell me no need my help la. mx takes charge of everything and makes a fuss over a simple thing. if it was me, i would not bother. if a few people not happy with the plans, we should not care them, why make more unhappy about all the changes in the plans just because of some people who dont know how to be flexible. i hate it lor, the boys make noise, something will change. sometimes the boys need to learn that they are not boss. and those 6 have no rights to control me. be angry with me if they must. i will use the exertive way to say no (what mr khoo thought us the last pc lesson) i have the rights to my own choices.
somehow i cant wait for the holidays to start so i wont hear all the shouting from right infront of me. when the boys gather at the back, mx gets angry, she will turn around and shout in my face... it makes me feel like i am always transparent. my partners keep pasting things on each other's uniform and when i sit in the middle i get bullied. i HATE this! i made a bad choice...
<|9:29 PM|>
hmm... music and english lesson was quite okay. we were doing brainstorming for compo. i could only think of playing computer game to kill time, and i did not know what interesting thing can happen. and so i decided to choose something that happened... the andy oh incident... joseline kept shouting "JOANIE!" so loudly across the class. she was so loud that ms low turned to look at her when joseline called me.
during science, we were doing hand up-pair up-share thing. so i partner joseline and we on the left side of the lab. i looked out of the window and looked down. and i went, "hey, i wonder who is down there." as i could see a average height, skinny boy sitting in the IT enrichment room. joseline thought it was ryan but i am sure it is not. we then went for drama and i was trying to slack but failed to.
i was changing in the toilet. went into a cubicle and saw something sensored. i wonder which absent minded person left it there instead of throwing it into the bin. like damn digusting la!!!
while waiting for the bus to leave for bowling, sherri, yuping and i went to walk around the lake. there was a group of upper secondary boys playing soccer. out of the blue, yuping said she wanted to shout "hello bowling pins, which bowling alley do you come from?" sherri said that if yuping said anything we will run. and yuping shouted it when i spotted some people i knew in the group of boys. sherri went "RUN!" and i started to run. the boys playing were from sec 3 and i knew some of them. inclusive of joel ng. he only unbuttoned the top metal button to play. yuping thought in the group there was no bowling people but there was! so how embarrassing. we decided to sit under the shade. at first they wanted to play ice and water but i refused to do so as i found it lame. they started the very lame and boring game of truth and dare again. zzz... told me to think of 5 random things, 1 is true, 4 is false. and i was thinking and looking around when the ly boys decided to leave and the fg boys were still there. then ryan threw the soccer ball at one of the fg boy. then that boy said that the ball was from ly de. and ryan shouted "pass it to dominic." it sounded so deep... and then the boy went inside to talk to the rest of his classmates. ryan then leave the place with his and dominic's bag. i was telling them to leave now but they did not want. then yuping shouted "HELLO RYAN!", making me irritated. sherri was like go to him la, but i was saying that she cant force me. then she said that she can and i said "oh well then i use violence la!" and i started flaring up. so we left for the bus.
i realised something: i feel happy and want to smile and wave when i see tian qing and alicia. also when i see RL and i start to let my mind think of anything i want, i would remember how cold he seem to treat me, i start to feel sad. heh...
during bowling i was felt so committed to the cca today. somehow it might cause i bought a bottle of green tea to drink. =D i didnt complain when sara asked me to go first cause she had leg cramp. i was quite weird during bowling today. one thing that pissed me was that sherri and yuping were slacking and drawing. haix... i dont think they know the use of a black sketch book, its suppose to use white pen and draw then it will look nice, not pencil. i detest people who enjoy drawing anime people. i still prefer real still life people.
i informed dava about the geography test, actually i just wanted to inform him that the whole sec 1 was going to have the test. then he got angry... cause the test is on friday...
anyway, there is a bowling interclass competition!!! =D XD my oh my, something i awaited a long time.
details:
venue: SSC- singapore swimming club
date: 18-20 october (not sure at all; 1 date 1 level)
teams: 4 per team (anyhow also can team)
limit: 10 teams per level
transportation: 1 way transport to venue by bus
fee: $5 each (inclusive of lane charges and transport)
i cant remember the other details if there is.
anyway, i better remember to find dava after flag raising tomorrow to check about the geography test. i felt it was actually not nessecary...
<|9:00 PM|>
sian... i dont have any mood left. i typed a whole big chuck but my comp hang and i had to restart, then i could not recover the post anymore! i shall not type so much today. hmmm, i shall use point form: ok that should be what happened today. in addition, i was helping joseline to do the most basic jump quest. man, i was really glad to help her until ryan came. he was teaching her and i felt that my presence was not needed. in the end he jumped finish and left the place, i jumped over and over again for 3 times and joseline was still stuck. my oh my... i lost my patience in the end and then i left maple leaving her stuck there. i really feel bad but i got a bad headache and i got no mood to jump...
<|9:10 PM|>
today i was very sleepy... was pratically dozing off in class and assembly but i had to keep myself awake.
in the morning, i was walking to class when i met jacqueline and xue wen. i started to talk to them and found out jacqueline had to borrow a blouse so she would not get scolded. i waited at the foyer with xue wen for jacqueline. went to class and immediately left with my tie to collect my science notes from jilyn. asked joseline if she wanted to follow me and she agreed. walked down and i made my usual look of the people walking up the slope. saw someone i did not expected to walk that way. then i quickly walked to 1ly. went in and had collected my book. just as i was turning to exit the class, i nearly tripped and fell, luckily i managed to hold on to the table to break my fall. when i looked up... ryan was there. like heng la never really fall... jilyn then called my name and i turned, i answered her and realised some boys were staring with hostile eyes, as though they did not welcome me into their class. and well, it was the same person that chased my out of 1ly the last time... chen rui.
anyway, ryan's hair seems weird today but i should not bother. had boring lessons and i only looked forward to the dnt lesson. my chance to do walking! as i was walking out of the door, i looked across to the opposite building. joseline and i saw ryan coming out from the computer lab. during dnt a few girls felt scared when we were doing sawing on our whatever blue board. i gladly helped them as i did not feel scared to do it.
during lunch i ate my usual and drank green tea that may be the reason why i was a bit crazy during pc lesson. i was doing weird actions and saying weird things. i was also very sleepy thats why i was a bit slower in my work.
during assembly i sat all the way in the front of the class with joseline. mr soon and mr loh were standing directly infront of me when they were talking. that made me force myself to keep awake as i did not want any scolding. i was daydreaming and when people clapped i clapped then i asked joseline what happened. maybe i was in a half asleep state...
walked out with a group of girls from my class to the bus stop across the overhead bridge. we talked about hair growing fast or slow, hairstyle. xue wen asked me to go with her the next time she go cut hair to cut the same hairstyle as her. when she mentioned $36 i was like WHAT! so expensive... she was like telling me that she heard that i go to 1ly almost everyday. i was going to say ya when she continued talking. "to see ryan arh?" i was like NOOO!!! why would i want to go see him? if i did, that would be weird.
i was looking at the calender when i realised it has already been almost 4 weeks since the last time i talked to ryan. i feel so normal, as though i never do talk to him. i felt amazed how fast time flies.
msn was down and my internet was cranky. i did not know what to do the whole day and so i was playing... the sims 2! long time since i last played it. continued with the lee family, yu family and the ng family. i think you can guess what i mean...
yawn... i am so sleepy...
<|9:48 PM|>
Its finally over...
the 5 days long funeral at 110M wishart road finally ended. from the first day till last night, i did not get any good rest. serve drinks, peanuts, finger food, gua zi, pizza and chicken wings... long days indeed... and my homework were pushed aside so i have not completed much. i hope i wont get scolded tomorrow.
fast food for dinner the past few nights. first dinner was from pizza hut- chicken and pizza (yumyum). the second day's dinner was from kfc and mcdonalds- spicy chicken and finger food meant to be served, but not many people wanted it so we ate most of it. third dinner was from canadian pizza- pizza and loads of side dishes choking up the bill to $200 as extra pizza was bought for my da yi ma's friends. last night's dinner was catered food from... i forgot where. they bought curry chicken and fried dumplings from the food factory down the hill for the guests. today's lunch was catered from the food factory also. it was so delicious that there was not much leftovers, mainly from the dessert where it was just way too much.
when the coffin was being sealed, tears were shed. smoke from the incense filled the hall. the first night was relaxing, not many people but had to help to buy things, prepare things, cleaned up the rubbish and arrange the drinks. run up and down the steps and nearly tripping as the grass outside had loads of 'holes'. the second night, there was a prayer session done by 3 sri lanka monks. also more people came, but it was still relaxing. managed to watch tv and play the computer. third night was a bad night. it rained and there were many people. it made the grass muddy and everyone had to squeeze as the tentage was small. ran in the rain, wreaths fell and i had to pick them up. carried beer to the tent and the whole box of peanuts. my uncles helped to serve the people as the children all gathered infront of the tv to watch the last episode of da nan ren xiao nan ren. lousy ending, we all went chey when it ended and all streamed out of the room. we then went to help out. last night, the tentage was bigger but there was lesser people. people were gambling and the kwang wai xiu people were writing donations. i helped to pack the red packets with each $2 and my fingers were all red after that. shortage of beer and peanuts. they really can eat a lot. served the catered food and much was wasted. haix...
this morning, reached there early. was given ginseng tea to drink, it was so salty and bitter but i managed to drink finish the whole cup. the van for the coffin came. prayers were made before we left. there was so many incense being burnt as offerings. about 60+, causing much air pollution in the hall. the smoke made me tear. we walked out to morse road bare-footed with 6 strong friends of my uncle carrying the coffin. boarded the coaches that were hired. headed to mandai crematorium and columbarium. as we entered the hall 4, we stood aside for prayers. then we took off our 'xiao' and placed it on the coffin. the hall had a very tall ceiling... we then walked over to the viewing room 4 still bare-footed. the whole viewing room was filled with people and everyone said amithofo (cant spell) continuously as the coffin was rolled to the burning area. we all cried. amanda's mother cried so weirdly that i started to laugh though still crying. we walked out to get refreshments, wash our hands take off the socks and wear back our shoes. headed home to have lunch and it rained but stopped by the time we reached back. ate and helped clear up as the tentage was being taken down and all the funeral items were dismantled. left the house at 1.30pm to go back to mandai to collect the ashes. only then i understood why it was called gu hui, cause it was only the remains of bones that they collected to put in the urn. my grandpa's bones were not that brittle afterall. what a healthy grandpa, no wonder he got the most active senior citizen award in 2003. headed to pek san ting immediately. we each took a bone and placed it in the urn. then we went to wash our hands. the adults said that if we had our menses we should not touch the bones, i wonder why. we placed the urn in the selected 'house' near my great grandparents. we were talking about buying the 'houses' early so that we could be next to our husband or parents. boarded the bus and it started to rain. we all said that the rain is blessings from grandpa as it only rains at a certain time. went home at about 4.30pm.
staring at my pile of uncompleted homework, i really wonder if i would be able to finish them in time. some i don't understand so i hope i can copy someone's worksheet tomorrow morning. school is starting again, exams are nearing and i havent done a single preparation! OMG! will i be able to endure the last few weeks of school? cant wait till the end of year holiday! =P
<|6:13 PM|>
i finished half my homework and almost all the drama props. i hope mr jow will allow us to use my foldable bed as the props, afterall, it saves man power and time. completed all the roses, they look... errrrr... weird. must be gentle with it as it can spoil very easily.
meh... i am so bored... thursday drama rehersal, friday geography lesson at 1ly, saturday go out to tampines mall with andrea and dawn to watch a movie. haix... i really wonder what is troubling me... i just feel so weird. now i need is to settle my problems...
<|9:02 PM|>
suddenly my blog became the quarrelling ground of some people... sian. now i limit people to view my blog, if you know me well, i am sure you are able to view my blog.
horrible la, last resort is to add code to my blog. best way...
<|11:44 AM|>
like what is going on la, i sleeping then wake up check blog see all these crap! why am i bothered about people commenting about me? they want to comment then comment la? it's your thinking, not mine! what har? i never ask people to help de lor! i not even there and i dont comment equals to me being useless?!?! stupid la! at least know what is going on then talk can? somehow, people can get a little tooooo helpful. continue scolding la, like i care.
scram can?
so irritating. i went to louise's house to do the props for drama. lalala... it seems like my house has so many useful things... and wow, i need to bring all of them to school on thursday. great, it seems like i dont have a lot of time left. was mark's height really about mine? hopefully... anyway, the door we made seems a bit flimsy, hope it doesnt break so soon. 1 whole month! will it survive? seeing louise's brother play on the laptop i felt tempted to play too! too bad, i only could stare at the screen. we called bee leng and zuo hong to measure the circumfrence of their head, yet we get weird measurements... cheng chong agreed to lend mei xuan his ncc uniform for the drama night. right... their size is like so different. i know who is about mei xuan's size, but surely wont lend the uniform de lor... we were also talking about the xue wen acting as a host, storyteller and mother a bit not appropriate... she is a bit of those timid type. we were also talking about how she seems a bit les... okay dont talk about her le.
went around to buy things and we exceeded our budget! lalala... we intend to claim from class fund, hopefully can claim la. if not... =X
found my way home without help! like somehow i could guide myself home... came home on computer and see the rest of the scoldings. like what? i was not there and i get scolded again... ZzZzZzZzZz... no peace for me. and then my computer so bad to me, i wan ban also dont let me get to see the ip add, stupid computer!!!
i am damn angry now! say all you like, i will get back at you one day!
<|7:20 PM|>
somehow, i often get caught between a quarrel. siding either side doesnt help in the problem. i try to be neutral but it is not easy... sigh. maybe its my personality that makes people want me to help them settle the quarrels. am i a bit too kind and helpful? should i be mean?
i feel like i am a puppet being used by people who refuse to settle the problems themselves.i am a human too, i can feel hurt, your words may just be filled with needles.
the weather was very hot today. quite hynoptic, i could not keep myself awake and so i slept for 2 whole hours. the air in my house now is very polluted. i think my neighbour is having a bbq, so smoky. the air is like choking lor...
<|6:30 PM|>
woke up 7am and was rushing... left home at 7.50am and i waited for 15 mins before the bus came... ahhh... i was so tired...
did ACC and music project at the same time. i was freeeeeeeeeezing in the room and took out my jacket to keep myself warm. went with yu le and joseline to KFC to have lunch.
after lunch we walked to singapore post to see things and we all went our ways at 12.45pm as i had to rush to somewhere.
i reached there late. and of course, people were waiting for me... sorry la i slow... won both of them without even using my own equipments lor. lol... i met freddy when i was leaving, i hope he did not see me with 2 boys. hehe... i went to see the bowling balls. recommended to get a 11.5 pounds Storm Triple X Factor ball. i will try to get it soon. looks so cool. i also saw the black widow that i remembered sam found very cool. i admit, it looks so cool.
went LAN... ok, i was not supposed to but then... i did. played CS, MS and watched the people play dota. dont get why some people can play it so long... i scared myself and my friends due to my poor memory. =\ sorry for scaring you guys.
came online and racked all those blogs that need pass to enter. managed to get into all of those blogs! =D this is great! i suppose i will play with it too! no worries, i am sure you can guess it...
<|6:56 PM|>
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